Speech Patterns That Can Be Annoying To Listeners
Are you a public speaker?
If you said no, thinking that public speakers are folks who do live or online presentations to audiences, you’d be missing an important point. Anyone who engages in conversations with people is a public speaker! While you might not be in front of a group, every time you open your mouth to say something you are speaking, right?
On a coaching call the other day, my client said she wanted to talk about the feedback she’d gotten from folks about her presentations. I thought, “what a great topic.” She’s had some media training and picked up some great pointers. She was noticing some speech patterns that she felt might be annoying or distracting to folks listening to her.
So, at a recent presentation, she asked for feedback on the evaluation form about her use of “ums and ahs”. Ask and ye shall receive! The feedback from participants confirmed that her overuse of ums and ahs were annoying and distracting and affected people’s ability to focus on her message.
When we spoke, she realized she uses certain speech patterns out of habit (she grew up with ums and ahs in her family) and as place holders. When she was thinking out loud and didn’t have an answer, she used ums and ahs to stop anyone else from speaking or interrupting her.
What are some of your speech patterns? Some may be unconscious habits and trendy words or phrases. When overused (every other word, how you begin each sentence, a consistent way of responding without variation in a conversation), they can cost you the attention from others, dilute your message, and be very off putting.
In addition to ums and ahs, here are some common words and phrases to consider replacing or decreasing:
~Sorta (wishy washy)
~ Ya know (this one can drive folks nuts and breaks attention rapidly)
~ Well, you know (I’m guilty of this one and I realize I have often use this response to manage a slight stutter problem I’ve had since childhood).
~ Awesome (yes this has been around for years and personally, I have grown weary of this as a constant response. I want something new!)
~ Too many “I statements” (can make you sound too “me, me, me, focused”)
~ I know …(exactly) what you mean…what that feels like….. (No, you don’t. Unless you walk in someone’s shoes, you can relate to others from your own personal experienecs.)
What other ones can you think of?
What are some of yours that might be time to replace or, at least, minimize?
Some ways to become more self aware of your own patterns include:
1. Become more present while speaking and listen to yourself in conversation with others. What are some of your favorite words or phrases that you consistently use?
2. Review any recordings you have of yourself presenting information. Hearing yourself speak might be uncomfortable. Listen with curiosity rather than judgment.
3. Solicit feedback. Include friends, trusted colleagues, or a select audience you feel you can ask. How are you coming across to others in direct conversation? Are they attentive, eyes glazed over, seem distracted?
4. Explore some of the ways your speech patterns are serving you? Unconscious habit, place holder, manage stutters….
To improve your communication skills:
~ Add more conscious breathing to become more present
~ Slow down and take more deliberate pauses
~ Play with other ways to respond
~ If you’re doing more professional presentations, working with a media trainer is a wise choice
If you said no, thinking that public speakers are folks who do live or online presentations to audiences, you’d be missing an important point. Anyone who engages in conversations with people is a public speaker! While you might not be in front of a group, every time you open your mouth to say something you are speaking, right?
On a coaching call the other day, my client said she wanted to talk about the feedback she’d gotten from folks about her presentations. I thought, “what a great topic.” She’s had some media training and picked up some great pointers. She was noticing some speech patterns that she felt might be annoying or distracting to folks listening to her.
So, at a recent presentation, she asked for feedback on the evaluation form about her use of “ums and ahs”. Ask and ye shall receive! The feedback from participants confirmed that her overuse of ums and ahs were annoying and distracting and affected people’s ability to focus on her message.
When we spoke, she realized she uses certain speech patterns out of habit (she grew up with ums and ahs in her family) and as place holders. When she was thinking out loud and didn’t have an answer, she used ums and ahs to stop anyone else from speaking or interrupting her.
What are some of your speech patterns? Some may be unconscious habits and trendy words or phrases. When overused (every other word, how you begin each sentence, a consistent way of responding without variation in a conversation), they can cost you the attention from others, dilute your message, and be very off putting.
In addition to ums and ahs, here are some common words and phrases to consider replacing or decreasing:
~Sorta (wishy washy)
~ Ya know (this one can drive folks nuts and breaks attention rapidly)
~ Well, you know (I’m guilty of this one and I realize I have often use this response to manage a slight stutter problem I’ve had since childhood).
~ Awesome (yes this has been around for years and personally, I have grown weary of this as a constant response. I want something new!)
~ Too many “I statements” (can make you sound too “me, me, me, focused”)
~ I know …(exactly) what you mean…what that feels like….. (No, you don’t. Unless you walk in someone’s shoes, you can relate to others from your own personal experienecs.)
What other ones can you think of?
What are some of yours that might be time to replace or, at least, minimize?
Some ways to become more self aware of your own patterns include:
1. Become more present while speaking and listen to yourself in conversation with others. What are some of your favorite words or phrases that you consistently use?
2. Review any recordings you have of yourself presenting information. Hearing yourself speak might be uncomfortable. Listen with curiosity rather than judgment.
3. Solicit feedback. Include friends, trusted colleagues, or a select audience you feel you can ask. How are you coming across to others in direct conversation? Are they attentive, eyes glazed over, seem distracted?
4. Explore some of the ways your speech patterns are serving you? Unconscious habit, place holder, manage stutters….
To improve your communication skills:
~ Add more conscious breathing to become more present
~ Slow down and take more deliberate pauses
~ Play with other ways to respond
~ If you’re doing more professional presentations, working with a media trainer is a wise choice
Author: Lorraine Cohen.
Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen, President of Powerfull Living, is a life coach, inspirational speaker, published writer, and broadcaster who has worked with thousands of spiritually-minded business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders from a wide range of industries. Recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field, Lorraine coaches people to create a profitable business, meaningful career, and fulfilling life by aligning with their spirit. An expert in breaking through fear and removing barriers to succ...
Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen, President of Powerfull Living, is a life coach, inspirational speaker, published writer, and broadcaster who has worked with thousands of spiritually-minded business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders from a wide range of industries. Recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field, Lorraine coaches people to create a profitable business, meaningful career, and fulfilling life by aligning with their spirit. An expert in breaking through fear and removing barriers to succ...
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