What does your eye contact say about you?

Body Language of the Human Eye

Ariel Lehrer

Is it possible to read someone's thoughts by gazing into their eyes? What body language cues can we gather just from observing eye movement?
If only you would have known that the funny little emoticons you were drawing when you were a kid would become the big business they are today. Certainly you would have cashed in. Nobody had to tell you that eyebrows angled down meant angry, angled up was sad, arched was surprised. You knew instinctively that eyes have a lot to say about what a person is thinking and feeling.
That's because the ability to read a person's intentions based on eye movement develops at about the age of four. But there's a whole lot more to know about what the eyes have to say than what simple face images can tell.

Right Brained or Left?

The direction of a person's gaze alone reveals a whole world of what is going on behind the forehead. Conjugate lateral eye movements, or CLEMS, are involuntary eye movements to the left or right and can indicate whether a person is engaged in symbolic or visual thinking. A 1999 study showed that people are predominantly left or right lookers and that 75% of their eye movements will be in one direction or the other. This is a good indication of whether you are dealing with a more analytical left brain person who will mostly look to the right or a creative right brain person who is probably looking to the left.

Lying Eyes

The story changes a little when you are not trying to assess the person's thought patterns but posing a question directly to them. Blifaloo's article “Eye Direction and Lying” discusses at greater length determining a person's truthfulness based on the direction of their gaze. You can tell whether a person is constructing or remembering information by the direction in which they are looking. Meaning, if you ask them to describe an experience and they look up and to the left from your viewpoint, in the direction of visual construction, they are probably making it up rather than remembering. A gaze downward can also indicate guilt or shame because the person knows their statements to be false.
Be careful with these cues. They are indications but they are not foolproof. Dr. Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of Virginia, reported in 1986 that people think that they are much better than they actually are at reading body language. Most people inaccurately believed that “shifty eyes” meant a person was lying. A person's body language response when defending themselves against the accusation that they have lied is identical to the body language used during lying. Neuro linguistic programming experts (NLP) would caution that the rule of thumb is to use a minimum of four body language cues to make judgments about a person's thoughts.

The Eyes Link to the Senses

The gaze of a person's eyes can also tell you whether they are in a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic mode of thinking.
The visual mode means that the person is supporting their thoughts with images. The eyes will be looking either upward or forward and unfocused.
In the auditory mode, thoughts are described as sounds. At these times, the person will be looking to the sides, in the directions of their ears.
And kinesthetic thinking means that the person is describing feelings to you. The eyes will generally gaze downward. Coupling this knowledge with what you have already learned, you will now have to rely on several additional cues to decide whether this is guilt or deep introspection.

The Eyes in Flirting & Interpersonal Relationships

If a person is looking you directly in the eye, you would likely believe that they are more dominant than submissive. According to Dr. Robert Gifford reporting in 1991 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most people mistakenly believed that a direct gaze meant that a person was dominant. It's actually the reverse: the more submissive partner has to attend to the more dominant one and will be looking to the other person's eyes to gauge reactions more often. Eye movement along with other body language is a better indicator, such as dominant people fiddle with objects less than submissive people.
Another downward eye movement is the momentary eye contact and then downward gaze that women unconsciously use while flirting. This gaze probably could also be categorized as submissive. But like the other eye movements already mentioned, Susan Rabin, communications consultant and author of “101 Ways to Flirt” advises that eye contact plus other body language are important for flirting. The eye contact used during flirting & other interpersonal exchanges can take many forms.
This article from the BBC relationships web page describes how eye movement indicates the level of relationship a person has with someone and whether they have reached the level of flirting. They call it the flirting triangle. Eyes move from one side of a triangle across to the other and down to the point of the triangle. In a flirtatious situation it opens up much more broadly to include the entire body. Gazing at the mouth e Body Language & Related Features on Blifaloo.com:

Learn how men and women use non-verbal communication
is considered quite sensual. A person who is interested in the other will probably blink faster and their pupils will dilate. Probably trying to get a better look. Unconsciously the other person will mimic the blinking.
Apparently when we see someone to whom we are attracted, our eyebrows rise and fall slightly. If the person feels likewise they usually unconsciously return the gesture. I think I remember a cartoon wolf from my childhood doing that with his eyebrows when he saw red riding hood. Or maybe I'm getting confused with Groucho Marx. Hard to tell the difference.
Check out our article about the Body Language of Flirting to learn more about eye contact and other flirting cues.
In a business relationship, the eye contact will remain at eye level with the bottom of the triangle being the bridge of the nose. Between friends, the bottom of the triangle will extend to the mouth.


Now you know.

10 Signs of a failure.

1. You’re addicted to the approval of others

When it’s time to make an important decision, instead of trusting your logic and intuition, you consult with the people around you first. You value the opinions of others more than you value your own. This emotional addiction to the approval of others stems from your lack of self-confidence, and your desire to please everyone.

2. You entertain yourself instead of educating yourself

You work a full time job and you might even have a decent career, but you haven’t opened a book since college, and the only extra training you’ve taken was required by your employer. The thought of going to networking events in your industry, reading books, listening to podcasts, or going to seminars to learn new skills and get new ideas is completely foreign to you.
Instead of spending your spare time investing in yourself and your ability to provide more value to the marketplace, you distract yourself with entertainment that adds no real value to your life or your productivity. You watch television often, you always know who won the game, and you can be found in nightclubs regularly.

3. You blame others for your circumstances

You’re not satisfied with where you are in life, but you have a perfect explanation for it. Essentially, none of it is your fault. You blame your boss, your coworkers, your parents, your educators, your childhood, even the economy for your lack of success.
You refuse to take 100% responsibility for your results. You refuse to acknowledge that YOU are in control of your life, and you get to steer yourself in whatever direction you choose.

4. You’re afraid of making mistakes

You’re afraid of failure, so you do whatever you can do avoid making mistakes. You forget that in the real world failure is not good or bad, it is simply feedback. But instead of learning from the valuable feedback that failure provides, you try to avoid it entirely. When you make a mistake, you cover it up and hope no one notices. You also put off making decisions because you’re afraid of making the wrong one. It takes you a long time to finally make a decision, and you change your mind often.

5. You stay in relationships that obviously aren’t working

You have a tendency to date people who bring you more problems than pleasure. You often tolerate behaviors that you know are unacceptable, and because you tolerate them they continue. Maybe you carry unresolved issues from previous relationships into your current one. Maybe you struggle with a low self-image so the standard you have for others isn’t very high. Whatever the case is, you must understand that your choice of spouse has a major impact on your life and success. If the person you’re with now is inhibiting your happiness and success, cut them lose and raise your standards.

6. You’re addicted to drama

Your life is a lot like an episode from a reality TV show. You are rarely on good terms with all of the people around you. You gossip about others often, and surprise surprise, they gossip about you too. The people you spend time with are known for arguing with each other, flirting with each other’s spouses, lying, and generally just causing problems between each other regularly. Instead of disassociating yourself from these types of people, you jump right in and add fuel to the fire. Heck, maybe you’re even the star of the show.

7. You spend time with people who are going nowhere

Jim Rohn, who was considered to be America’s Foremost Business Philosopher, once said that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Unfortunately you spend most of your time with people who do not support or encourage your success. The people around you have no ambitions, no goals, and no concrete plans to improve their life. They seem to think that success is something that happens to other people, but not to them. You sometimes share an ambitious idea with these people, but they are quick to crush it.
Successful people know that the attitudes of the people around them are contagious, so they intentionally surround themselves with people who will encourage them and push them to higher levels. They know that they can’t afford to adopt the beliefs, thoughts, and habits of mediocre people if they are going to continue succeeding.

8. You’re careless with money

You often run out of money before you run out of month. You’re living paycheck to paycheck and you invest nothing for the future. You carry a balance on your credit cards, you take vacations you can’t afford, and you often buy expensive things impulsively. You spend money trying to look successful, but your balance sheet tells a different story. You hardly have any savings. You certainly don’t have a retirement plan. You don’t have any assets that make money for you, and your spending habits are your biggest liability.
You sometimes come close to acknowledging the truth about your situation, but instead of facing it and changing it, you let it continue. Thinking about your finances gives you a headache, and you prefer to avoid the subject entirely.

9. You have dreams (great) but no set goals (not so great)

You often imagine a more desirable version of your life, but instead of working towards making that vision a reality, you settle for your present circumstances. You complain often, but change little. You say you want certain things, but you do nothing to obtain them. You wish for your life to get better, but you make no commitment to improve yourself or your circumstances.
Successful people are driven by clear, specific goals. Their goals are what guide their decisions and their daily activities, and they rarely let a day pass by without doing something to bring them closer to achieving them. Their dreams aren’t something they sleep with at night; their dreams are something they wake up and chase.

10. You think successful people got lucky

The final sign that you’re addicted to failure is you believe that people who are successful got lucky – that they had some sort of advantage that you don’t have. You believe their parents helped them, or they went to the right school, or grew up in the right neighbourhood, or got in at the right time, or knew the right person, etc.
You think success is something that people stumble upon – a “right place at the right time” sort of situation. But the reality is people succeed by being the right person in the right place at the right time. In other words, they work relentlessly to prepare themselves for specific opportunities, and when those opportunities present themselves, they seize them. They don’t sit around waiting for the life they want to fall into their lap. They also typically don’t buy lottery tickets.

Top principles of Wise Communication.

You need to know this.

Words can hurt since the emotional pain networks in your brain overlap with physical pain networks. (The effects of this intertwining go both ways. For example, studies have shown that receiving social support reduces the perceived intensity of physical pain, and – remarkably – that giving people Tylenol reduced the unpleasantness of social rejection.)
Besides their momentary effects, these hurts can linger – even for a lifetime. The residues of hurtful words sift down into emotional memory to cast long shadows over the inner landscape of your mind.
Plus they can alter a relationship forever. Just think about the ripple effects of things said between parents and children, from one sibling to another, or among in-laws. Or between friends. For example, a good buddy once castigated me morally when we disagreed politically. We tried to talk it through, but the fact that he showed he could indeed go to that place led me to take a step a back; we’re still friends, but our relationship is smaller now since I steer clear of some major subjects.
So do what you can to protect yourself from hurtful words from others. Prevent them in the first place, if possible, by “talking about talking” with others (perhaps share the guidelines below). If that doesn’t work, try to see the underlying pain and needs that could have triggered them to “let ‘er rip,” put their words in perspective, turn toward resources in yourself and in your true friends, and shift the size or nature of the relationship if that’s appropriate (and possible).
And on your own side of the street – my subject in this JOT, because you have much more influence over yourself than you have over others – speak wisely.
How?
I’ve gotten a great deal of personal value from six guidelines offered 2500 years ago by the Buddha; you’ll recognize their essence – sometimes expressed in the same words – in other traditions or philosophies.
From this perspective, wise speech always has five characteristics. It is:

• Well-intended – Comes from goodwill, not ill will; constructive; aimed to build up, not tear down
• True – Not overstated, taken out of context, or blown-up out of proportion
• Beneficial – Helps things get better, not worse (even if it takes a while)
• Timely – Not driven by impulsivity; rests on a foundation that creates a good chance of it being truly heard
• Not harsh – It could be firm, pointed, or intense; it could confront mistreatment or injustice; anger could be acknowledged; but it is not prosecutorial, nasty, inflammatory, dismissive, disdainful, or snarky.

And if possible, it is:

• Wanted by the other person – If they don’t want to hear it, you may just not need to say it; but there will be other cases when you need to speak for yourself whether the other person likes it or not – and then it’s more likely to go well if you follow the first five guidelines.

Of course, there is a place for talking loosely with others when it’s comfortable to do so. And realistically, in the first moments of an argument, sometimes people stray out of bounds.
But in important, tricky, or delicate interactions – or as soon as realize you’ve gone over the line – then it’s time to communicate with care, and with wisdom. The six guidelines do not guarantee that the other person will respond the way you want. But they will raise the odds of a good outcome, plus you will know in your heart that you stayed in control of yourself, had good intentions, and have nothing to feel guilty about later.

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?

50 questions to ask yourself.
These questions have no right or wrong answers.
Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

1. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
2. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
4. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
5. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
6. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
7. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
8. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
9. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
10. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
11. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
12. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
13. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
14. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
15. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
16. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
17. Why are you, you?
18. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
19. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
20. What are you most grateful for?
21. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
22. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
23. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
24. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
25. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
26. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
27. If not now, then when?
28. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
29. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
30. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
31. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
32. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
33. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
34. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
35. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
36. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
37. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
38. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
39. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
40. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
41. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
42. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
43. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
44. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
45. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

via  http://www.marcandangel.com/

How do you speak to yourself ?

THE  POWER OF I AM.

The way we speak to ourselves really does matter, it majorly influences how our lives turn out.

“I AM” is Power and “I AM” will free you when you know what it is and how to use it.
“I AM” is who you are.
“I AM” is your center and what you experience is what you have believed to be truth and attached to it.
Be very careful what you attach to your “I AM”, it has the power to limit you or free you.
“I AM” You.

I AM Love, I AM Wealth, I AM Health, I AM Spirit, I AM Power, I AM Abundance, I AM Plenty, I AM Divine Substance, I AM Strength, I AM Source Energy, I AM Genius, I AM Beauty, I AM Life, I AM Color, I AM Thankful, I AM Divine Mind, I AM Energy, I AM God, I AM Happy, I AM Fun, I AM Law, I AM Open Minded, I AM Young, I AM Strong, I AM Wise, I AM Wonderful, I AM Positive, I AM Determined, I AM Motivated, I AM Persistent, I AM Upbeat, I AM Confident, I AM Thoughtful, I AM Tolerant, I AM Integrity, I AM Confidence, I AM Divine Energy, I AM Success, I AM Intelligence, I AM The Truth, I AM Good, I AM That I AM, I AM Mind, I AM Joy, I AM One With God, I AM Perfect, I AM Peace, I AM Whole, I AM Grateful, I AM Secure, I AM Free, I AM Consciousness, I AM Awareness, I AM Mind, I AM Insight, I AM Revelation, I AM Illumination, I AM Enlightenment, I AM Heaven, I AM Unlimited, I AM Harmony, I AM Prosperous, I AM A Magnet, I AM Gifted, I AM Responsible, I AM Vitality, I AM Radiant Substance, I AM Divinity, I AM Light, I AM The Way, I AM Everything, I AM Alive, I AM Calm, I AM Relaxed, I AM Divinely Guided, I AM Pure, I AM Noble, I AM Awake, I AM Allowing, I AM Creative, I AM Blessed, I AM Worthy, I AM Blissful, I AM Beautiful, I AM Grace, I AM Focused, I AM Kindness, I AM Imagination, I AM Inspired, I AM Thin, I AM Vibration, I AM The Universe, I AM Master Of My Destiny, I AM what I desire to be

- David Allen

I Am. What is I Am? It is your true being. It is your real nature, your real self and nobody else, because no one else can say I Am for you. Only you can say I Am. That is your real identity, the Presence of God in you, the Indwelling Christ. That is you, and whatever you attach to I AM with conviction, that you are and that you have.

“I AM” is the fact of existence, and to know that gives you all power. When you have to go and tackle the “Egyptians” and your heart turns to water within you, and you say to yourself, “I cannot do this,” “I am not adequate,” “There is no way,” then remember your true identity and say to the “Egyptians,” “I AM hath sent me,” and the road will open and you will surmount your difficulties.

 God is I AM THAT I AM, and you are I AM, and you make your destiny and your own fate by the things which you attach to that I AM, for that is what you really believe about yourself. If you give credence to fear by saying, “I am afraid,” then you are destroying yourself. Every time you entertain a pang of fear, or jealousy, or a thought of criticism, every time you speak an unkind word to anyone, and much more so if you say it about them when they are not present, you are definitely shortening and destroying your life. You are definitely breaking down your cells. You are making your body more sensitive to pain. Nor do we lose a grain of good. Nobody can keep it away from you. Every time you say, “I am one with God,” you are improving your life. Every time you refuse to be bullied by fear, every time you follow the highest you know, and put your trust in God, you are lengthening your life, improving your health, and making it more difficult for disease to attack you.

The Alpha male.

ARE YOU AN ALPHA MALE ? Here are the main characteristics of  the alpha males.

1. The alpha male is persistent. There’s no quit in this man. He’s the tortoise not the hare. He’s the last man standing.

2. The alpha male can defend himself and his family. He can handle himself with his fists, to put it another way.

3. The alpha male is in peak physical shape. He’s strong and athletic as well as aesthetically pleasing to the opposite sex.

4. The alpha male is courageous. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity.

5. The alpha male can entertain. He has a sense of humor and can have a group of people hanging on his every word – he’s a good story teller.

6. The alpha male has stories to tell. He’s lived – and is living – a unique life. He’s made mistakes, but he’s able to find humor in them. He’s had adventures that everyone wants to hear about.

7. The alpha male can laugh at himself.
 You can’t make fun of the alpha male because he’ll join in, no one can make fun of him better than he can.

8. The alpha male is humble. Some of this comes from his ability to laugh at himself. No matter what he accomplishes, his head will never balloon, and if it does, he has the ware-with-all to come back down to earth before it gets out of hand.

9. The alpha male is learned, educated. A degree isn’t a prerequisite, but a thirst for knowledge is. He wants to learn, and he does. This helps him relate to people from every social and economic standing. He can converse intelligently with the business man and the preacher. The history buff and the sports nut.

10. The alpha male is a man’s man. He’s a hard guy not to like or want to have a beer with. He’s tough, often quiet, composed, but can joke and shoot the shit with anyone.


11. The alpha male knows the value of every word, he doesn’t talk simply to hear the sound of his own voice. His words are chosen carefully. He respects their power. Whether he’s writing or speaking, he doesn’t speak to be hear, he speaks when he has something of value to say. He’s never the loudest one in the room.

12. The alpha male has a purpose. This may be his most defining trait. Where many wander through life trying to find their Self, the alpha male is too busy creating his Self. Every day he does something to bring himself closer to his goal. He isn’t a wanderer, he’s going places; it’s so obvious that everyone around him can see it.

13. The alpha male is a hard worker. He knows that nothing great is accomplished without hard work and a definite purpose.

14. The alpha male is a warrior not a worrier. He understands that cetain things aren’t under his control. He does everything he can to control what hecan, but doesn’t worry about what he can’t.  

15. The alpha male doesn’t pick a fight, but he ends it if he’s in one. He isn’t a bully. He isn’t an emotional wreck that looks for a fight at every corner. But, if the logical thing to do is to fight because the situation calls for it, he will. He’ll also never hit a man when he’s down. He isn’t fighting to destroy, but to defend.

16. The alpha male has style. He takes pride in how he looks and people respect him for that. He also knows how to dress like a man. You’d never call the alpha male a metrosexual.

17. The alpha male knows who he is, his values govern his life. He doesn’t stray from these values, in fact he stands up for them. Even when he stands alone in what he believes is right, he digs his heels in and fights.

18. The alpha male knows how to treat a lady. He respects women, often because he’s had some great one’s in his life. He’s chivalrous.

He helps his lady at every chance. He helps her reach her dreams, all-the-while moving closer to attaining his own.

19. The alpha male isn’t a sucker. He isn’t a clinger. He doesn’t go out of his way to please everyone because that’s a futile endeavor. He won’t let a woman run his life. He’s his own man. Though he worships the ground his lady walks on, he knows how to pick ’em. He won’t be with a control-freak or a jealous woman. He has the social intelligence to see that storm before it peeks it’s nasty little head.

20. The alpha male is a man of value. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Einstein knew that success is reached if you’re valuable to others. The alpha male is a man of value and values. He makes the lives of others better by being a part of them.

21. The alpha male helps others, he’s generous. He has his purpose, but he knows that life isn’t merely about accomplishments, but about leaving a legacy. That legacy is how he made others feel, and how he helps others accomplish their dreams.

22. The alpha male is a leader who leads by example. He doesn’t tell people how to live, but lives in the manner he sees as best to live.

23. Alpha males throughout history, Achilles, William Wallace, and Napoleon, saw opportunity where others saw failure. The alpha male will fail, but he won’t see failure as the end. He’s sees it as a necessary part of the experience, a stepping-stone. Knowing this allows him to try things others won’t, and to work harder when others usually quit.

24. The alpha male is stubborn. When he starts something he’s passionate about, no one can stop him or pull back on the reigns. He’s in it until the end. He’s also open-minded and willing to listen to other points of view. He knows he’s flawed and stubborn, so he gives way and learns from people who are better than him.

25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. He is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by the world around him, in becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. He passionately works hard. He’s excited by life, by the opportunity that each day presents. He’s genuine in every facet of who he is. Each of the characteristics are possessed by him naturally, or will be as he grows as a man. Bred from curiosity, a genuine kindness, and a warrior’s heart, he is who he is, and all others follow him wherever he will lead them.

10 Charismatic Leadership Characteristics.

Charismatic leadership involves a sense of style, flair, and confidence.

 

These charismatic leaders have a quality which is hard to pin down, but which attracts followers and inspires people to action. Transformational leaders are often highly charismatic because they are capable of initiating and maintaining a significant level of change in the organization.
The following are some of the most prominent characteristics of charismatic leadership.



1. Communication
Charismatic leaders have extraordinary skills in communication. This helps to motivate employees through tough times and also help them stay grounded when things are good. The leaders are equally comfortable communicating one-to-one or in a group setting.
2. Maturity
Though they have a very powerful personality, a charismatic leader also has maturity and character. They don’t believe in empty showmanship, but they draw on their wisdom and knowledge which they have accumulated over the years of life and business experiences. They behave in a mature and responsible manner on all occasions.
3. Humility
Charismatic leaders also have a sense of humility. They place a lot of value on each employee, and have the ability to truly listen to their concerns. The charismatic leader is able to convince the employee of the value that they bring to the organization, and show them how their contributions impact the strategic interests of the company. They inspire great loyalty from their employees.
4. Compassion
Successful charismatic leaders are also compassionate. Charisma alone may not be enough, because there’s a very real possibility that it can disintegrate into mere hero worship. Compassion, integrity, honesty, and fortitude are also qualities that successful charismatic leaders exhibit.
5. Substance
Charisma can exist without substance, but only for a very short time. Flashy and glitzy behavior may capture the attention of people, but eventually they will want something substantial beneath the facade. A charismatic leader must not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk. Charm gets him the face time, and substance closes the deal.
6. Confidence
It goes without saying that charismatic leaders are truly confident. They are the glass half full kind of people, and are comfortable with who they are. They understand themselves well and do not try to be anyone else. Charismatic leaders are secure and confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin.
7. Positive body language
One of the first things that you’d notice about a charismatic leader is their warm, open, and positive body language. They make eye contact with were that they are talking to, smile, and introduce themselves to strangers with the genuine joy of making a new contact. They have an endearing swagger, and they are authentic.
8. Listening skills
Charismatic leaders are extremely good listeners. When they listen to you, they don’t fidget or look distracted. A charismatic leader pays attention to what is being said, and listens with interest. They are engaged in the conversation and act with empathy.
9. Self-monitoring
One of the attributes of charismatic leaders is that they often tend to watch themselves. They are aware of their powerful personality, and the fact that their followers are watching them constantly. For this reason, they consider it important to portray a good image of themselves to their followers. This can be achieved only with self-monitoring.
10. Self-improvement
A charismatic leader understands that he has certain qualities that make him different from others, and that these are the qualities that get him attention and make him charismatic. So he also knows how important it is to continually improve himself.

Annoying speech patterns

Speech Patterns That Can Be Annoying To Listeners

Are you a public speaker?

If you said no, thinking that public speakers are folks who do live or online presentations to audiences, you’d be missing an important point. Anyone who engages in conversations with people is a public speaker! While you might not be in front of a group, every time you open your mouth to say something you are speaking, right?

On a coaching call the other day, my client said she wanted to talk about the feedback she’d gotten from folks about her presentations. I thought, “what a great topic.” She’s had some media training and picked up some great pointers. She was noticing some speech patterns that she felt might be annoying or distracting to folks listening to her.

So, at a recent presentation, she asked for feedback on the evaluation form about her use of “ums and ahs”. Ask and ye shall receive! The feedback from participants confirmed that her overuse of ums and ahs were annoying and distracting and affected people’s ability to focus on her message.

When we spoke, she realized she uses certain speech patterns out of habit (she grew up with ums and ahs in her family) and as place holders. When she was thinking out loud and didn’t have an answer, she used ums and ahs to stop anyone else from speaking or interrupting her.

What are some of your speech patterns? Some may be unconscious habits and trendy words or phrases. When overused (every other word, how you begin each sentence, a consistent way of responding without variation in a conversation), they can cost you the attention from others, dilute your message, and be very off putting.

In addition to ums and ahs, here are some common words and phrases to consider replacing or decreasing:

~Sorta (wishy washy)

~ Ya know (this one can drive folks nuts and breaks attention rapidly)

~ Well, you know (I’m guilty of this one and I realize I have often use this response to manage a slight stutter problem I’ve had since childhood).

~ Awesome (yes this has been around for years and personally, I have grown weary of this as a constant response. I want something new!)

~ Too many “I statements” (can make you sound too “me, me, me, focused”)

~ I know …(exactly) what you mean…what that feels like….. (No, you don’t. Unless you walk in someone’s shoes, you can relate to others from your own personal experienecs.)

What other ones can you think of?

What are some of yours that might be time to replace or, at least, minimize?

Some ways to become more self aware of your own patterns include:

1. Become more present while speaking and listen to yourself in conversation with others. What are some of your favorite words or phrases that you consistently use?

2. Review any recordings you have of yourself presenting information. Hearing yourself speak might be uncomfortable. Listen with curiosity rather than judgment.

3. Solicit feedback. Include friends, trusted colleagues, or a select audience you feel you can ask. How are you coming across to others in direct conversation? Are they attentive, eyes glazed over, seem distracted?

4. Explore some of the ways your speech patterns are serving you? Unconscious habit, place holder, manage stutters….

To improve your communication skills:

~ Add more conscious breathing to become more present

~ Slow down and take more deliberate pauses

~ Play with other ways to respond

~ If you’re doing more professional presentations, working with a media trainer is a wise choice

Author: Lorraine Cohen.
Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen, President of Powerfull Living, is a life coach, inspirational speaker, published writer, and broadcaster who has worked with thousands of spiritually-minded business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders from a wide range of industries. Recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field, Lorraine coaches people to create a profitable business, meaningful career, and fulfilling life by aligning with their spirit. An expert in breaking through fear and removing barriers to succ...

116 Twitter Slang Words & Abbreviations that matter for twitter users

Twerminology: 116 Twitter Slang Words & Abbreviations

@reply: The @reply means a Twitter update (a tweet) that is directed to another user in reply to their update. An @reply will be saved in the user's "Replies" tab. Replies are sent either by clicking the 'reply' icon next to an update or typing @ username message (e.g., @user I saw that movie too).
ab/abt: Short for "about." This chat abbreviation is is frequently seen on Twitter.
adventuritter: Slang term used to describe a Twitterer who is adventurous.
attwaction: Slang term used to describe an attraction between two users.
attwicted: Slang term used to describe someone who is addicted to Twitter.
b/c: Twitter shorthand for "because."
B: Twitter shorthand for "be."
b4: Twitter shorthand for "before."
Bberrytweet: Slang term that refers to using a Blackberry device to send a tweet on Twitter.
beetweet: Slang term used to describe a "hot tweet." Usually this is a popular, trending topic on Twitter and many users will retweet a beetweet.
bemyguest, #BeMyGuest: A popular Twitter hashtag (#BeMyGuest) to let other Twitter users know you'd like to exchange guest blog posts.
BFN: Short for "bye for now."
bgd: A shortened form of "background" often used on Twitter.
Bird-of-mouth: Slang term that refers to the use of Twitter to circulate news and information.
BR: An acronym used on Twitter that stands for "best regards."
BTW: Shorthand for saying “by the way.”

bulltwit: Slang term to describe fake, false or over embellished Tweets.
Celebrity syndrome: This Twitter phrase refers to a situation in which a non-celebrity mistakenly believes he or she is a celebrity. Users with celebrity syndrome will not follow a significant number of Twitter users.
chk: Twitter shorthand for "check."
cld: Twitter shorthand for "could."
clk: Twitter shorthand for "click."
co-twitterer: Slang term used to describe a second person who tweets on a single Twitter account.
crank tweet: Similar to a "crank phone call," it is a misleading tweet.
cre8: Often seen on Twitter, it means "create."
cuttweet: Sometimes simply known as "CT," this slang term refers to a retweet that is a shortened version of the original.
da: Often used on Twitter, this is a shortened version of "the."
daily twitamin: Twitter slang that means a tweet that contains useful knowledge that is easy to take in and remember. It is a "daily vitamin" for Twitterers.
deets: A shortened version of "details" often found on Twitter.
detweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet you made, then deleted.
direct message (DM): Short for direct message, it is the function of the Twitter service that enables you to send a private message (direct message) to a person you are following.
drive thru tweet: Refers to a tweet sent by an individual while he or she is at a restaurant drive-thru.
drive-by-tweet: This is a fast tweet posted by an individual while he or she is in between tasks.
drunktwittering: The act of posting on Twitter while intoxicated.
Dweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet that has been sent by a user who is drunk.
eavestweeting: The act of eavesdropping on other Twitter conversations.
egotwistical: Slang term used to describe a user who talks about himself on Twitter. It is a combination of the words "egotistical and Twitter."
EM / eml: Shorthand versions of "e-mail" routinely used on Twitter.
EMA: An acronym for "e-mail address" used on Twitter.
emergaTweet: Also known as emergetweet it refers to a tweet sent out during an emergency when 911 is unavailable.
F2F: An acronym used on Twitter that means "face to face."
fab: A shortened version of “fabulous”; frequently used on Twitter.
Fail Whale: On the Twitter site, the Fail Whale is an image of a whale held up by birds and nets. This image shows that Twitter has been overloaded or that a failure occurred within the service.
FAV: The FAV action on Twitter lets you mark a person's last message as a favorite message to be displayed in your Favorites Tab. To use FAV, type FAV username.
Follower / following: On Twitter, blogs, and other social media sites, a follower is someone who subscribes to receives your updates. On the Twitter Web site "following" someone means you will see their messages in your own personal timeline. Twitter lets you see all the people you follow and also who is following you.
FollowFriday (FF, or #followfriday): On Twitter, FollowFriday is a recommendation. It is used to call attention to a user's favorite followers and favorite people on Twitter. When you tweet a FF message, you are recommending that your followers also check out the people you mention in your post. When you send a FollowFriday message, you include #followfriday in your update so it can be searched for using that hash tag.
FOMO: An acronym used for the saying “fear of missing out,” which is used when you feel like you are not going to be included in a social event.
friendapalooza: A slang term used to describe a situation in which a twitterer adds many friends within a short time period.
friendscrapping: A slang term related to Twitter that refers to an individual adding all of a friend’s friends as his or her own.
FTL: An acronym frequently used on Twitter in place of the phrase “for the loss.”
FTW: An acronym frequently used on Twitter in place of the phrase “for the win.”
HAND: An acronym often used on Twitter, it stands for “have a nice day.”
Hash tag: A hash tag or hashtag is a way of organizing your updates for Twitter search engines. Users prefix a message with a community-driven hash tag to enable others to discover relevant posts. One commonly used hash tag on Twitter is #followfriday where users network by providing the names of their favorite people to follow on Twitter.
Hivemind: This is a term used to refer to the combined intelligence of all Twitter users.
IC: Often used on Twitter, it is the shorthand version for “I see.”
ICYMI: Short for "in case you missed it", the abbreviation may appear in a tweet that is a repost from the same person, just in case their followers missed it the first time it was tweeted.
idk: An abbreviated form of “I don’t know” frequently used on Twitter.
intwituation/intwituated: Slang terms used to describe a situation in which someone is infatuated with another Twitter user.
kk: Twitter shorthand for "kewl kewl" (cool cool).
Mention: Used to name another user within your tweet by using the @ symbol with the other user’s username.
microblog: A type of blog that lets users publish short text updates. Bloggers can usually use a number of services for the updates including instant messaging, e-mail, or Twitter. The posts are called micro posts, while the act of using these services to update your blog is called microblogging.
microfunding: Using Twitter and other forms of microblogging to raise money for nonprofits and charity donations.
mistweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet that you later regret having sent.
MRT: Means "modified retweet (RT)."
neweeter: A slang term used to describe a new tweeter.
NTS: Twitter shorthand for "note to self."
OH: Short for overheard. This chat abbreviation is used on Twitter, often in place of RT (retweet) when the user does not want to provide the username of the follower they are quoting.
PRT: Short for please retweet. This is a notation added to the end of a Tweet. PRT shows the user is asking others to retweet their post.
Retweet: Abbreviated as RT, retweet is used on Twitter to show you are tweeting something that was posted by another user. The format is RT @username where username is the Twitter name of the person you are retweeting.
selfie: Slang phrase used to describe a photo that is taken of oneself where the right or left arm is extended with the camera held backwards.
SMH: An acronym used for the saying “shaking my head” which is typically used when someone does not agree with something or is disgusted or off-put by something.
social networking site: Abbreviated as SNS, a social networking site is the phrase used to describe any website that enables users to create public profiles within that Web site and form relationships with other users of the same website. Social networking sites can be used to describe community-based websites, online discussions forums, chat rooms and other social spaces online.
TBH: An acronym for “to be honest.”
TBT: An acronym for “Throw Back Thursday,” usually following an old image as a reference to the past.
TFTF: Twitter shorthand for "thanks for the follow."
TMB: Short for "Tweet me back."
TrashTweeter: Refers to a twitterer who talks trash in his or her posts.
twabe (or twabes): Slang terms often used on Twitter to refer to a young woman. Can also be used as a flattering term that has roughly the same meaning as “dear”; or “sweetheart.”
twabstinence: A slang term used to describe someone’s decision to cut back on their Twitter time because it is preventing them from completing their work or other important daily tasks.
twabulous: A slang term used to describe a fabulous tweet.
Twaffic: Slang term used to mean "Twitter traffic."
Twalking: Slang term used to describe someone who is walking while they tweet, using a mobile device.
twart: A slang term meaning “Twitter art.”
Twebay: Slang term used to describe selling (or promoting) an eBay item on Twitter.
Tweeple: Meaning Twitter people. It is used to refer to or describe Twitter users.
Tweet: Describes a Twitter update. A tweet is basically whatever you type into the Web box to answer that question, using 140 characters or less. People tweet personal messages, random thoughts, post links, or anything else that fits in the character requirements.
tweetaholic: The term used to describe someone who has a problematic addiction to Twitter.
tweeter: Refers to a person who send tweets on the Twitter service (same as Twitterer).
tweeterboxes: Slang term used to refer to Twitter users who "tweet excessively."
tweetorial: Slang term used to describe tutoring or lecturing on or about Twitter. Some industry speakers use the term to describe a live event where a lecture on a Twitter topic is given (e.g., a seminar or event that teaches people how to use Twitter), while others use the term to describe giving a lecture on Twitter. Here the host speaker will use a special designated hash tag so others can follow the lecture on Twitter.
tweetroduce: Slang term used to describe the situation in which a user introduces one follower to another.
tweetsult: Slang for an insult sent using Twitter.
twegal advice: Slang term for legal advice that is sent on twitter using 140 characters or less.
twerminology: A slang term meaning "Twitter terminology."
twettiquette: Short for Twitter etiquette. It is a slang term used to describe acceptable Twitter behavior.
Twewbie: Short for Twitter newbie. It is a slang term used to describe someone who is new to Twitter.
TwinkedIn: Slang term used to describe someone who invites their Twitter friends to interact with them on LinkedIn. 
twis: Slang term used to describe a 'dis' on a fellow Twitter user.
Twishing: Twishing is a combination of the words "Twitter and phishing". It is the act of sending a message to a Twitter user in an attempt to obtain his or her name and password. The message may instruct the recipient to visit a Web site where he or she is asked to log in. The Web site, however, is bogus and set up only to steal the user's information. See "Beware of Twishing" in the Did You Know...? section of Webopedia for more information on Twishing.
Twitosphere: An expression used to describe the "World of Twitter."
twittcrastination: Slang term that refers to using Twitter as a form of procrastination.
twitterage: Slang term describing feelings of rage experienced as a result of a Twitter post.
Twitterapps: Short for Twitter applications. It is the phrase used to describe any application that integrates with the twitter service. May also be called Twitter tools or Twitter add-ons.
twitterati: Slang term that refers to 'A-list' Twitter users.
Twitterer: Refers to a person who send tweets on the Twitter service.
Twitterfly: A social butterfly on Twitter. A Twitterfly uses the @ sign in many messages, showing they have a lot of Twitter friends to talk with or mention in their updates.
Twitter-ific: Short for "Twitter" and "terrific". It is a slang term used to describe something terrific you find on Twitter.
twitterpated: Slang term describing the feeling one experiences when messages on Twitter become overwhelming.
twitterphoria: Slang term describing the feelings of elation one experiences when they add someone as a friend and the person adds them in return.
Twittworking: Short for Twitter networking. It is a slang term used to describe Twitterers who use Twitter to network.
U: This shorthand form of "you" is frequently found on Twitter.
woz: Slang for "was," this term is frequently found on Twitter.
wtv: A shorthand form of "whatever" often found on Twitter.
ykyat: An acronym standing for "you know you’re addicted to..." that is frequently used on Twitter.
YOLO: An acronym for the saying “you only live once” which is used much like the saying carpe diem implying that you should just enjoy life.
YOYO: An acronym that stands for "you’re on your own" that is often used on Twitter.
ztwitt: A slang term that means "to tweet extremely fast."


courtesy of webopedia.

Characteristics of Great communicators.

•  What does it take to become a clear, concise and vibrant communicator, here are the tips..

• A Clear, Concise Message
  No one likes a rambler, so have your primary purpose in mind when you begin your communication. Simplify your thoughts, so you can present your point in a precise manner. Once you have made your first important point, move on to the next.
  
• Understanding of the Recipient
  Effective communicators know who they are talking to, and they understand the style of communication will vary based on the recipient. For example, you probably talk to your co-workers very differently than you talk to your boss.
  
• Empathy for the Recipient
  Empathy involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Effective communicators always see the situation from the perspective of the other person, including the emotions that might be involved with the message.
  
• Effective Listening
  Communication isn’t all about talking to someone. Effective listening means really hearing what the other person is saying as well. Paraphrasing the message and repeating it back to the individual will let you know you understood their point accurately. It also shows that you care enough about their message to get it right the first time.
  
• Asking for Clarification, when Necessary
  Effective communicators aren’t afraid to ask for clarification if they don’t understand the message they are receiving. When you ask for clearer understanding, it shows that you really care what the person is talking about and ensures the conversation proceeds appropriately. Clarification can come from paraphrasing what you heard the other person say or simply asking him to relay his message in a different way that is easier for you to understand.
  
• Adherence to the Facts
  Effective communicators are much more interested in passing of facts than assumptions or gossip. Avoid the rumor mill at all costs, and unless you can verify your information through the original source, do not pass it on to others. If you are conveying a message from another person, it is also important to get that person’s permission to do so before passing the information onto others.
  
• Awareness of Body Language
  Body language makes up a large percentage of our messages, so effective communicators learn how to tune into the nonverbal message they are sending. Make eye contact with the person you are talking to as much as possible, particularly when that person is speaking to you. Avoid potentially offensive body language like fidgeting, biting your lip or rolling your eyes that might convey boredom, cynicism or lack of honesty.
  
• Provision of Proper Feedback
  When you offer feedback to another person, make sure it is constructive. Feedback is important to maintain a positive conversation and ensure you are both on the same page. Feedback might involve requests for clarifications, questions to expand a particular message, or constructive criticism about another’s performance. Pepper potential criticism with plenty of positive feedback so the recipient is more likely to hear your message and take it to heart.
  
• Inclusion of Praise, when Appropriate
  Effective communicators know how and when to offer praise. Positive feedback is always welcome, as long as the recipient knows it is authentic. When you praise another person, be specific in your compliment by linking it directly to a specific activity or attribute. Praise someone publically whenever you can, and make sure the praise coming out of your mouth is genuine. When you must convey negative information or criticism, try starting out with praise and ending with a positive statement. This “hamburger” approach usually helps others take criticism in stride.
  
• A Positive Attitude
  No one likes to listen to a complainer, so effective communicators work hard to keep their messages positive. Instead of using phrases like, “I can’t” or “We won’t” in your conversations, focus on what you can do for others. Even if you cannot grant a request the way someone hopes, keeping your message positive will allow the other person to accept your “no” with grace.
  

Five facts about Communication

Reduce employee fears, concerns, and confusion with effective internal communication.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

~ George Bernard Shaw

I’m sure we’ve all had times when we thought we told someone something important, but it turns out we hadn’t. That’s not uncommon.

But there’s a difference between making this mistake in our personal lives and making careless communication a habit in the workplace. And, according to the following facts, we are not communicating well enough with our employees.

1. Employees often spend up to two hours a day (which equals one quarter of the work week) worrying and gossiping.
2. 55% of employees say their benefits materials are neither clear nor comprehensive.
3. 33% of workers are worried their pay will be cut; 30% are worried about getting laid off; 30% are worried their hours will be cut.
4. When there are more questions than answers at work, the consequences are uncertainty, frustration, rumors, and lowered productivity.
5. Confusion and frustration usually motivate your best employees to leave first, and it costs an average of 150% of their annual salaries to replace them.

Informing Vs. Communicating: There’s a Difference.

If you’re confused because you feel like you do communicate with your employees on a regular basis, ask yourself this question: are you really communicating with your employees or just giving them information?

Aren’t they the same thing, you ask? No not at all. Information is the simple sharing of facts, but communication implies a two-way dialogue.

This is a really important distinction that can help transform both your current and future communication strategies, so let’s say it again: Information and communication are not the same thing.

This revelation means that we need to stop tossing information at our employees just assuming they’ll understand it and really start communicating with them to guarantee that they get it! Here’s a couple of tips to get you started.

Listening More; Talking Less.

Wait, didn’t we just say you need to communicate MORE with your employees? How do we do that if we’re talking LESS? Easy. Start listening more to what your employees have to say, and that will help guide how you should be communicating with them. Check out these two facts that support the importance of listening:

• Employees who feel like they are genuinely listened to by their managers are nearly 5 times more likely to have high job enthusiasm and 21 times more likely to feel committed to their company than those who do not feel listened to.
• Companies with highly engaged employees improved operating income by 19.2% over a 12 month period.

Whatever methods you need to use to improve your listening skills (i.e. one-on-one meetings, employee surveys, suggestions boxes), the results will be worth the effort.

Hitting Your Target

Make your communications programs strategic. If you just toss information out into the employee arena hoping it reaches its target, you won’t know for sure if you accomplished anything. You can’t afford to take chances with casual, hit-or-miss communication efforts. Here’s why:

• Successful company communication programs tend to produce the best results in financials, productivity, and shareholder returns.
• Communication programs executed immediately after a deal get significantly better results than those that delay implementation for 3 months or more.

Understanding that there’s no such thing as too much communication.

So what’s the bottom line here? To simultaneously reduce employees’ concerns and increase company loyalty, enthusiasm, and engagement, just over-communicate. Become the kind of leader who communicates so often and so well that you no longer have to wonder if your communication accomplishments are just an illusion; you now know it for a fact.

Check out our free eBook for more tips on boosting your internal communication at work.

Sources:

1. http://www.evergreencommunication.com/content_press_eyeopeningstatsandfacts.htm
2. http://visual.ly/communication-breakdown
3. http://blog.metrofax.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Anatomy-of-a-Happy-Office.png
4. http://blog.handhcomms.co.uk/post/45115597837/take-a-look-at-our-ic-field-guide-it-shows-the

10 Facts about Non verbal Communication

Adapted from eSCIENCE COMMONS.

Non-verbal communication has a huge impact on a child's social well-being, yet development of this skill is often overlooked, says Emory psychologist Steve Nowicki. Photo credits, above and below: iStockphoto.com.

By Carol Clark

What you don’t say during a face-to-face encounter can deliver a stronger message than words.

“Non-verbal communication is at least as important, if not more important, than the verbal part of relationships,” says Emory psychologist Steve Nowicki, a leading expert in the nuances of body language. “When you break a non-verbal rule of language, it almost always has a negative emotional impact.”

And yet, the elaborate codes of facial expressions, postures and gestures that form the basis of non-verbal communication are learned informally and indirectly, primarily from our parents, he says.

He cites his own experience of having a reserved, Polish father and a boisterous Italian mother. “At times, the only sign that my father was upset was the way he would raise one eyebrow by a certain degree,” Nowicki recalls. “My mother, on the other hand, never met an emotion that she didn’t express immediately and vividly.”

Between the pair of them, Nowicki learned to interpret and use the gamut of non-verbal signals. “But imagine what a boy who was raised by two parents like my mother would be like when he got to school,” Nowicki says. If a teacher delivered a command in a soft, even tone characteristic of preschool instructors, the child would be likely to miss the teacher’s message entirely and perhaps get labeled as “oppositional.”

For more than two decades, in association with Emory psychologist Marshall Duke, Nowicki has produced a groundbreaking body of work in how non-verbal communication impacts a child’s development. They developed the Diagnostic Analysis of Non-verbal Accuracy (DANVA) a set of tests to access subtle cues to emotional expressions, including visual signals and tone and cadence of voice. The test is in use by researchers around the world.

“Research has shown that most people overestimate their non-verbal communication skills,” Nowicki says.

In the following Q&A, he answers 10 questions based on research by himself and others.

Is non-verbal communication skill associated with personal and social adjustment?

Yes, DANVA errors in children can help predict future personal and social difficulties, including anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, lower self-esteem and being the victim of bullies.

Can the ability to read non-verbal emotions be improved?

Yes, direct teaching of children, including those with high-functioning autism, can lead to significant improvement in their DANVA scores.

Are there any drawbacks to being extremely good at reading others?

Yes. You have to be careful if you are especially adept at sensing the non-verbal signals of others, because you may pick up emotional signals that they are unaware of sending and would rather hide. For instance, when you tell someone that they look a little tired and sad, they might take offense, even if it’s true.

Is non-verbal communication skill tied to cognitive ability?

No, except when the IQ is below 70. For those with average IQs and above, there does not appear to be a correlation between non-verbal communication skills and intelligence.

Is the ability to interpret non-verbal cues correlated to the ability to express them?

No, not much. Even if you’re good at reading people’s non-verbal cues, it doesn’t mean that you’re not sending out faulty messages yourself. They appear to be two different skills.

Is non-verbal communication interpreted the same way across cultures?

No, culture has a significant impact. Studies have shown, for instance, that African-Americans can read white faces as well as they can read African-American faces. White people, however, do not read African-American faces as well, and when they misinterpret their facial expressions, they tend to read them as angry. You can imagine the potential kinds of problems this might cause.

Do children acquire the ability to read the emotions of facial expressions in a particular order?

Yes, studies show that children tend to learn to read a happy expression first, followed by sad, angry and then fearful expressions.

Does older age affect non-verbal communication skill?

Yes. As we become elderly, our ability to read emotions can erode, and it seems we lose skill in emotions in the opposite order that we acquired them as children. Happy is the last one to go.

Between the ages of 45 and 55, we begin to lose the ability to pick up emotions in voices, and by ages 55 to 65 loss in the ability to read faces follows. However, what remains the same at any age is that better skill compared to peers is correlated with better personal and social adjustment.

What is the effect of a neutral expression?

There is no such thing as a neutral face, because a neutral face is usually interpreted negatively.

About one-third of people have an off-putting “resting face” and they don’t realize it. Their faces, when they are thinking about nothing in particular and feeling no emotion, are actually communicating something negative. As we age, this tendency grows. It is estimated that more than half of people above the age of 65 have a negative resting face.

Do nonverbal communication skills correlate to attitudes toward robots?

Yes. Believe it or not, a study showed that people who are not good at reading the emotional cues in human body postures tend to dislike robots.